Since the subject is still part of the title, I’m going to go ahead and spout it out: before falling asleep at around 2 a.m. last night, I set the most devious alarm spread known to man! I had alarms sounding every minute from 6:00 to 6:05 in a range of ringtones varying from a loud vibration to a 10-second clip of “She Got It” by 2 Pistols (feat. T-Pain)… and let me tell you, all five read alarm:on by the time my head hit the pillow!
It's 6 a.m.!!!!
The effectiveness of this alarm spread led me to a few ethical questions. Mainly, I wondered if man should have this option; freely drifting between states of consciousness at a predetermined time like some sort of arrogant deity. To frequently use this alarm spread, which I have affectionately named ‘The Bag ‘O’ Tricks,’ would be to play God in the worst way.
My response to this concern was reminiscent of Brett Favre’s infamous 2001 laydown to Michael Strahan. Still fully awake from the cacophany that ensued, I went back to sleep until 6:42… minimizing the effect of ‘The Bag ‘O’ Tricks’ and achieving a clean bill of health from the man upstairs all while grabbing 30 bankable sleep minutes for the upcoming work day.
Generally speaking, I wake up late, hurry to work, and slog through my day relying on short spurts of caffeine to keep me going like a $5 bill at the pump. So I find it ironic that on the second day in as many months in which I actually wake up at a reasonable hour, my first thought is this: “Wow. I’m going to have enough time to have a cup of coffee at home.”
It makes sense, because I basically view coffee on a work day as I would alcohol on a night out. If you have the time to sneak in a drink at home to make the ride/walk to your destination more enjoyable, why not take that opportunity? ‘Pain will tell you… it’s important to set the mood in advance.
